Ooh...she's a little runaway...

I had an interview yesterday.  Which is great, right?  'cept, I'm not excited.  It's for a temporary position, so I'd only be working until July.  It pays well... but I feel like its a tease, and it's only more waiting.  I'd be waiting until July to end so I can start looking for a job again.  I want to find a job and have that job for as long as *I* want to have it.  I'm so OVER this.  I want to run away.

I was so hopeful a month ago... now I'm lost, again and I feel alone.  I could really use some encouragement, some support from my loved ones.  I feel ignored and not a priority.  I have to just get over that feeling though, make myself a priority.

everything I need is on its way... everything I need is on its way... everything I need is on its way... 


Right?

I sure could use a break.  A little away time.  I know its not realistic, I know its not responsible, but I sure could use a little time away to just forget about my problems for a while.  I know I have a place to stay in NJ, I know I could easily have the time of my life in NJ... but again, I shouldn't spend the money to go out there and I should just power through here until I find a job.  I know I will find a job.  I just really need an attitude adjustment.  I need to focus on MYSELF and not on whether R is going to call me or if he going to pay attention to what my email said.  I focus too much on him, that needs to stop immediately.  I worry too much in general, so that's another thing I need to adjust; its an ongoing project...

I wish I could just go to the airport and just get on a plane that's headed towards EWR.  Stay the summer and come home. Summer is the only time to go anyway.  I suppose I could... I'd just need a summer job there.  Dreaming...

I watched The Saint today... I love Dr. Emma, Elisabeth Shue's character, I want her kind of passion for SOMETHING... it doesn't need to be cold fusion, but something.  Where can I acquire such passion?  The search starts here, I suppose...

I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful... I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful... I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful...