Say 'hello' to the newest LAX Chief Pilot’s Office Administrative Assistant for United Airlines! I wanted this job the second I got the call. And I made it happen! :D I didn't really fear not getting it... I just had this feeling. Although, it's going to be a trek... its about 30 miles away from my house & on the worst. freeway. ever. The 405. Ugh. Buttttttttt... I have a feeling I'm going to love working there, so the distance isn't much of a concern {famous last words?}.
After I got the news... I was reminded that no matter how happy I am, there is something {or someone} that is always going to bring it down. Ugh. Not knowingly, but my high was inflated very quickly after reading some written words. It's stupid. And eventually it has to be dealt with, I just have no idea how or when.
So for now... we dance. No, I just try and not let it ruin my good fortune.
ORRRRR... even better... not give a crap. That sounds like a better path. WHO CARES. I want to live my life now and not think about that weird situation. They aren't thinking of me, so I can't go on and think of them. Even though, this is great news and I am on cloud nine... I feel alone again. Stupid weird situation, I don't like you, you stole my spirit. Jerks.
R being gone is hard. Its hard all the time, but sometimes its even harder. Sometimes its tolerable... sometimes just the most miserable thing EVER. Right now its leaning towards most miserable ever. Bah.
It would have been nice to have celebrated with him tonight... this is a huge deal for me. *sigh. I suppose this is just something I have to accept. Let downs; he can't control this, I know... but it still feels like a let down... I hope when he gets home, the let downs stop. The past year of his life has been a wild ride, so when he gets home and its just the same old stuff, I want things to be different, naturally and organically. If not, we have to make them different. This isn't fair to me.
Oh well. It is what it is, right?
Man... I'm terrified. I mean I'm excited... but I haven't worked for 9 months! And this position is in HEAVY traffic, so I'm scared to be late... and its for an airline! Who knows what that means for the future! AHHHH! And... and... ahhh! I don't want to disappoint and I fear failing so much more than I fear anything else. *sigh. I will be okay, everything I need is on its way.
I'm also a little afraid I'm going to miss out on talking to R... right now he calls whenever and we talk whenever... that won't be the case when I have a job. I'm going to have work to do and I'll have to see how they feel about phone calls. I hope they understand. And I hope R will work around my schedule... we've been very lucky that I haven't had a job. Oh my goodness... I'm freaking out... I need to stop thinking about this.
A different note... Kind of exciting {and another thing I fear}.. I might get to go to Houston for training! I
It will all be okay.
I'm glad I start Monday... if I had to wait any longer to start, I think I'd lose my mind.
*deep breaths*
I'm going to do something to get my mind off all this... stuff.
